GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD G G w _____ ____ 1 4 4 "On Social Stigmata: w D // | \ 11 44 44 Jesus, Magic, and Ciacco the Hog" D * || ____ | || | 1 444 444 by Dr. Dr. Otis, M.D. * G || || \ / | || | 1 4 4 issue #144 of _GwD: The American Dream G w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 4 4 with a Twist -- of Lime_ * rel 05/05/05 w D D GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- *** ABSTRACT *** In this treatise, I will examine the growing phenomenon known as Social Stigmata. Our fellow dr00g, Ciacco the Hog, suffered a severe bout of Social Stigmata recently, so it seems timely to investigate social Stigmata now. This treatise is unique in the literature. Despite an exhaustive search, I have been unable to find any legitimate research into this topic. The basics of Social Stigmata are discussed, conclusions are drawn, and a case study is provided in an effort to explain actions that can be taken to alleviate the effects of the disorder. *** KEYWORDS *** Stigmata; social setting; social situation; blood; bleeding; gut; psychobabble; anxiety; social anxiety disorder; drugs; wounds of Christ; crucifixion; cruci-fiction; dr00gscience; pseudo-science; religious manifestations in public places *** INTRODUCTION *** Despite vigorous research on the topic, I have been unable to uncover even one article in the literature that discusses Social Stigmata of this sort. There are a multitude of references to "social stigmata" (note the lowercase "s"), but this is merely because the plural of "stigma" is "stigmata," and the definitions of "social stigma" are well established in the literature (1-3 and many others). In this article, I will discuss Social Stigmata (capital "S"), referring to The Stigmata. *** BACKGROUND *** The Stigmata are the wounds that the Romans made when they allegedly pounded nails into the hands and feet of Jesus of Nazareth (5). Also included as Stigmata are the wounds to the head, back, and side that were allegedly suffered by the aforementioned Nazarene from a crown of thorns, lashing, and a spear. Thus, The Stigmata are not just any old garden-variety "stigmata;" They are Worthy Of Capitalization because They relate to the one that is called I Am. Incidentally, The Stigmata have been referenced in popular culture (6-7 and many others that are less-worthy of mention here; and you know that they then must be pretty crappy...the Ministry song is decent, but the movie is forgettable and little more than a 2 hour music video). Social Stigmata occur when someone experiences The Stigmata in a social setting. Not just this, actually, but when the social setting brings on The Stigmata. Whereas the standard introvert will merely sweat when forced to interact with people at a party, the Social Stigmatic will begin to bleed from his/her hands, feet, head, back, and side. As a result of this bleeding, people usually recoil from the Social Stigmatic with equal parts horror and disgust. Then, other party-goers summon a large, ogreish fellow named Rocco to eject the Social Stigmatic from the proceedings. The causes of Social Stigmata are many and varied. These include: hemophilia, devout and irrational Christianity, listening to Linkin Park, and prostitutes (see this author's "Call for Legalized Prostitution" (4)). When you elicit the services of a prostitute, make sure that you bring some of your closest friends with you. Have them surround the prostitute. If she begins bleeding, it means one of two things: 1. she has a serious venereal disease or 2. she has Social Stigmata. Either way, you would be well-advised to keep your distance, or it could get messy. *** CONCLUSIONS *** You do not need to fear the Social Stigmatic. Sure, if the Social Stigmatic has AIDS, you will probably get infected and die. But look at Magic Johnson; he allegedly has AIDS, but you still see him strutting his stuff. Other than the possibility of death, what else is there to worry about? You might get some of his blood on your pants, but those pants are probably already stained by someone else's seminal fluids (after all, you're at a party when the Social Stigmatic reveals himself). *** DEALING WITH A SOCIAL STIGMATIC *** If you or someone you know is a Social Stigmatic, do not be alarmed. Follow these easy steps and all will be well. However, proceed with caution. 1) Isolate the Social Stigmatic. C'mon, bleeding everywhere? That's just gross. 2) Force the Social Stigmatic to eat large quantities of food. Social Stigmata can be cured by morbid obesity. Remember that, kids. *** CASE STUDY *** To depict the proper response to an outburst of Social Stigmata, consider how we handled Ciacco the Hog. He showed up at GwD Fest 2005 and was swarmed by several newly-inducted dr00gs who had grown up inspired by his masterpiece "Remembering Porkins" (6). Suddenly, Ciacco's hands and feet began to bleed. Lobo Licious and Bob the Master of the World, recognizing the signs of Social Stigmata from their days in psych-divinity school, parted the crowd and forced Ciacco to eat lots and lots of food. Ciacco began to grow calm, as his gut, Nigel, commanded him to calm down. The two imperial dr00gs continued to feed Ciacco until Nigel ruptured. While the rupturing was far more disgusting than his bleeding had been, at least Ciacco's hands and feet no longer bore The Stigmata. It should thus be noted that while consumption of mass quantities of food can cure (or at least assuage the symptoms of) Social Stigmata, it can itself have dangerous side effects. *** REFERENCES *** 1. "Social stigma," _Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia_, 06:04 UTC, 31 March 2005, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stigmata (25 April 2005). 2. "Holy See calls for banishing of 'social stigma' against AIDS victims", Catholic News Agency World Wide Web Site, 25 November 2004, http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=2547 (25 April 2005). 3. Ellison, M.A. and J.E. Hall, "Social stigma and compounded losses: quality-of-life issues for multiple-birth families," _Fertility and Sterility_, Volume 80, Issue 2, Pages 405-414. 4. Dr. Dr. Otis, "Sex without Strings: A Call for Legalized Prostitution," _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime_ Issue #124, 17 May 2002, http://www.greeny.org/media/text/gwd124.txt (25 April 2005). 5. "Stigmata," _Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia_, 16:53 UTC, 25 April 2005, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stigmata (25 April 2005). 6. Ministry, "Stigmata," Perf. Ministry. _The Land of Rape and Honey_, Warner Brothers, 1988. 7. _Stigmata_, dir. Rupert Wainwright, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, 1999. 8. Ciacco the Hog, "Remembering Porkins," _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime_ Issue #134, 10 June 2003, http://www.greeny.org/media/text/gwd134.txt (25 April 2005). --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- Issue#144 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585 copyright (c) MMV Dr. Dr. Otis, M.D./GwD Publications /---------------\ copyright (c) MMV GwD, Inc. All rights reserved :EAT YOUR FINGER: a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD : Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. 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